GRAND JUNCTION, Colo. 鈥� On a Friday after school, 6-year-old Esa Rodrigues had unraveled a ball of yarn, spooked the pet cat, polled family members about their favorite colors, and tattled on a sibling for calling her a 鈥渂utt-face mole rat.鈥�
Next, she was laser-focused on prying open cherry-crisp-flavored lip gloss with her teeth.
鈥淵es!鈥� she cried, twisting open the cap. Esa applied the gloopy, shimmery stuff in her bedroom, where a large transgender pride flag hung on the wall.
Esa said the flag makes her feel 鈥渋mportant鈥� and 鈥渉appy.鈥� She鈥檇 like to take it down from the wall and wear it as a cape.
Her parents questioned her identity at first, but not anymore. Before, their anxious child dreaded going to school, bawled at the barbershop when she got a boy鈥檚 haircut, and curled into a fetal position on the bathroom floor when she learned she would never get a period.
Now, that child is happily bounding up a hill, humming to herself, wondering aloud if fairies live in the little ceramic house she found perched on a stone.
Her mom, Brittni Packard Rodrigues, wants this joy and acceptance to stay. Depending on a combination of Esa鈥檚 desire, her doctors鈥� recommendations, and when puberty sets in, that might require puberty blockers, followed by estrogen, so that Esa can grow into the body that matches her being.
鈥淚n the long run, blockers help prevent all of those surgeries and procedures that could potentially become her reality if we don't get that care,鈥� Packard Rodrigues said.
The medications known as puberty blockers are for conditions that include prostate cancer, endometriosis, infertility, and puberty that sets in too early. Now, the Trump administration is seeking to limit their use specifically for transgender youth.
Esa鈥檚 home state of Colorado has long been known as a haven for gender-affirming care, which the state considers legally protected and an essential health insurance benefit. Medical exiles have for such treatment in the past few years. As early as the 1970s, the town of Trinidad became known as 鈥渢he sex-change capital of the world" when a cowboy-hat-wearing former Army surgeon, , made his mark performing gender-affirming surgeries for adults.
On his first day in office, President Donald Trump signed an refuting the existence of transgender people by saying it is a 鈥渇alse claim that males can identify as and thus become women and vice versa.鈥� The following week, he calling puberty blockers and hormones for anyone under age 19 a form of chemical 鈥渕utilation鈥� and 鈥渁 stain on our Nation鈥檚 history.鈥� It to take steps to ensure that recipients of federal research or education grants stop providing it.
Subsequently, health care organizations in Colorado; California; Washington, D.C.; and elsewhere announced they would preemptively comply. In Colorado, that included three major health care organizations: Children鈥檚 Hospital Colorado, Denver Health, and UCHealth. At the end of January and in early February, the three systems announced changes to the gender-affirming care they provide to patients under 19, effective immediately: no new hormone or puberty blocker prescriptions for patients who hadn鈥檛 had them before, limited or no prescription renewals for those who had, and no surgeries, though Children鈥檚 Hospital had never offered it, and such surgery is : For every 100,000 trans minors, fewer than three undergo surgery.
Children鈥檚 Hospital and Denver Health resumed offering puberty blockers and hormones on Feb. 24 and Feb. 19, respectively, after Colorado joined a U.S. District Court state. The court concluded that Trump's orders relating to gender 鈥渄iscriminate on the basis of transgender status and sex.鈥� It granted a preliminary injunction blocking them from taking effect in the four states involved in the lawsuit.
Surgeries, however, have not resumed. Denver Health said it will 鈥渃ontinue its pause on gender-affirming surgeries for patients under 19 due to patient safety and given the uncertainty of the legal and regulatory landscape.鈥�
UCHealth has resumed neither medication nor surgery for those under 19. 鈥淥ur providers are awaiting a more permanent decision from federal courts that may resolve the uncertainty around providing this care,鈥� spokesperson Kelli Christensen wrote.
Trans youth and their families said the court ruling and the two Colorado health systems鈥� decisions to resume treatments haven鈥檛 resolved matters. It has bought them time to stockpile prescriptions, to try to find private practice physicians with the right training to monitor blood work and adjust prescriptions accordingly, and, for some, to work out the logistics of moving to another state or country.
The Trump administration has continued to press health providers beyond the initial executive orders by threatening to withhold or cancel federal money awarded to them. In early March, the Health Resources & Services Administration funding for graduate medical education at children鈥檚 hospitals.
KFF Health News requested comment from White House deputy press secretary Kush Desai but did not receive a response. HHS deputy press secretary Emily Hilliard responded with links to two prior .
Medical interventions , and the process to get treatment is . Researchers have found that, even among those with private insurance, to receive puberty blockers and hormones. Most gender-affirming breast reduction surgeries performed on men and boys are done on cisgender 鈥� not transgender 鈥� patients.
Kai, 14, wishes he could have gone on puberty blockers. He lives in Centennial, a Denver suburb. KFF Health News is not using his full name because his family is worried about him being harassed or targeted.
Kai got his period when he was 8 years old. By the time he realized he was transgender, in middle school, it was too late to start puberty blockers.
His doctors prescribed birth control to , so he wouldn鈥檛 be reminded each month of his gender dysphoria. Then, once he turned 14, he started taking testosterone.
Kai said if he didn鈥檛 have hormone therapy now, he would be a danger to himself.
鈥淏eing able to say that I'm happy in my body, and I get to be happy out in public without thinking everyone's staring at me, looking at me weird, is such a huge difference,鈥� he said.
His mom, Sherry, said she is happy to see Kai relax into the person he is.
Sherry, who asked to use her middle name to prevent her family from being identified, said she started stockpiling testosterone the moment Trump got elected but hadn鈥檛 thought about what impact there would be on the availability of birth control. Yet after the executive orders, that prescription, too, became tenuous. Sherry said Kai鈥檚 doctor at UCHealth had to set up a special meeting to confirm the doctor could keep prescribing it.
So, for now, Kai has what he needs. But to Sherry, that is cold comfort.
鈥淚 don't think that we are very safe,鈥� she said. 鈥淭hese are just extensions.鈥�
The family is coming up with a plan to leave the country. If Sherry and her husband can get jobs in New Zealand, they鈥檒l move there. Sherry said such mobility is a privilege that many others don鈥檛 have.
For example, David, an 18-year-old student at Western Colorado University in the Rocky Mountain town of Gunnison. He asked to be identified only by his middle name because he worries he could be targeted in this conservative, rural town.
David doesn鈥檛 have a passport, but even if he did, he doesn鈥檛 want to leave Gunnison, he said. He is studying geology, is learning to play the bass, and has a good group of friends. He has plans to become a paleontologist.
His dorm room shelves are scattered with his essentials: fossils, Old Spice deodorant, microwave macaroni and cheese. But there are no mirrors. David said he got in the habit of avoiding them.
鈥淔or the longest time, I just had so much body dysphoria and dysmorphia that it can be kind of hard to look in the mirror,鈥� David said. 鈥淏ut when I do, most of the time, I see something that I really like.鈥�
He鈥檚 been taking testosterone for three years, and the hormone helped him grow a beard. In January, his doctor at Denver Health was told to stop prescribing it. His mom drove hours from her home to Gunnison to deliver the news in person.
That prescription is back on track now, but the mastectomy he鈥檇 planned for this summer isn鈥檛. He鈥檇 hoped to have adequate recovery time before sophomore year. But he doesn鈥檛 know anyone in Colorado who would perform it until he is 19. He could easily get surgery to enhance his breasts, but he must seek surgical options in other states to reduce or remove them.
鈥淐olorado as a state was supposed to be a safe haven,鈥� said his mother, Louise, who asked to be identified by her middle name. 鈥淲e have a law that makes it a right for trans people to have health care, and yet our health care systems are taking that away.鈥�
It has taken eight years and about 10 medical providers and therapists to get David this close to the finish line. That鈥檚 a big deal after living through so many years of dysphoria and dysmorphia.
鈥淚'm still going, and I'm going to keep going, and there's almost nothing they can do to stop me 鈥� because this is who I am,鈥� David said. 鈥淭here have always been trans people, and there always will be trans people.鈥�
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